The day we found out we were going to be having twins at our first ultrasound, I immediately knew our life as working parents was going to be a lot harder logistically than I anticipated. And that was before I knew we’d be having four pandemic babies (yes, four--two sets of twins between 2020-2021).
Luckily, we ended up finding Moms on Call early on, which was literally our guidebook to sanity and success relative to having a happy household that’s not completely overcome by chaos.
You know, it’s funny. Sometimes my husband (who’s the most amazing partner you could ask for!) will make comments like “wow, our kids are such great eaters/sleepers/happy kids” or “wow, this doctor appointment time really worked out—the kids are fed/awake/happy at exactly the right time” … to which I try to kindly remind him, this all didn’t happen by accident. We worked VERY hard for many months to set a strong foundation with the help of Moms on Call to set ourselves and the kids up for long term success in these areas.
That’s the Big Secret!
Finding a plan that works for you and your family and STICKING TO IT. Consistency is huge in any endeavor, but especially for little kids who you can’t communicate things to you yet.
In most areas of my life, I’m anything but consistent. Especially when things get hard (i.e. I’m tired and/or emotional). And being a parent is hard. But what was harder for me was continuing to live life deliriously tired and completely overwhelmed/unable to survive (much less enjoy) everyday life with my family. This was where I was prior to finding Moms on Call.
After pouring over dozens of sleep training recommendations/books, we ultimately decided to go with Moms on Call, because it was simple and grounded in love and practicality.
Figuring out what sleepy cues to look for and the correct time between awake and asleep (much less keeping track of it x4) was just too complicated for me. In the hard moments, like listening to the babies cry as they worked through things, I knew they were safe and loved. We never put them in situations they weren’t capable of figuring out in a reasonable amount of time based on their age, weight, health and development. And those skills (particularly learning how to put themselves to sleep) are absolutely critical to everyone in the family getting the rest they need to be happy and healthy.
Although my husband and I were confident and committed to the Moms on Call plan, we were met with a lot of well-intentioned skepticism in the beginning. Particularly from our family who we’re very close to and rely on a ton. Our approach seemed too rigid and/or too cold to those on the outside. However, we were able to kindly hold firm to our boundaries, and overtime the skeptics turned into believers once they saw the incredible results. Truth was, no one else had the same exact experience as us (one pro of having two sets of twins), so their advice technically didn’t apply. Even if we’d had only one kiddo at a time -I firmly believe each parent is entitled to parent in the way they think is best for their children and their family’s well being.
Aside from sleep and sanity, consistently in implementing the Moms on Call plan provided us with several unexpected benefits.
Having a set schedule was instrumental in helping us create healthy, consistent boundaries as a family. For example, no one gives us pressure to keep the kids out past bedtime anymore because they know it’s an important part of our daily routine. And because we’re consistent, the boundaries are applied fairly to everyone across the board. No special treatment. No hard feelings.
It also allowed us (me in particular as a new mom who was significantly outnumbered) to have a clearer voice in asking for help.
I remember the first few weeks at home with the first set of twins being difficult (of course) but especially when there were lots of people over doing things their way in order to try to help. Only problem was, it wasn’t helping. Despite their best intentions, having people swoop in, do things their way and then leave with me holding the bag (i.e. crying babies) just made an already tough situation worse. Until we found and committed to Moms on Call, I simply didn’t know HOW to ask them to help or not help.
Now, whether it’s a babysitter or grandparents, I have very simple, clear and consistent instructions for anyone helping take care of our kids. What’s even better is that the kids know the drill too because we try to stay consistent day in and day out with our routine that Moms on Call helped us establish. It gives me a lot of reassurance, knowing that my kids are being taken care of in a way that’s consistent with my level of care/expectations - no matter the caretaker.
Having a solid foundation and routine in place makes it easier to adapt when you get thrown curveballs (i.e. sick kids, daycare closes, etc.). Which as any parent knows are inevitable. For example, there have been several times that our childcare plans change without notice. My husband and I both work full time, so on these days we have to figure out how to be both caretakers and employees. The routine allows us to block and tackle the day because we know what to expect on a “normal” day.
The Key to Our Success
Last but not least, what we attribute to our success was not only following the outlined plan but also in working with Laura Hunter as our consultant. As a parent, it’s important to have support. Not not all advice is actually helpful if it doesn’t align with your values and principles. Having Laura available in real-time to help us troubleshoot and keep encouraging us to trust the process (because she’s seen it work SO many times, including for herself) was instrumental.
If you’re a new mom and/or new mom to multiples and feeling overwhelmed, just know that God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle with his help. Having twins twice during a pandemic felt impossible at first. It certainly hasn’t been easy, but these babies have been the biggest blessing to our family and everyone who meets them thanks largely in part to Moms on Call helping us figure out how to not only survive but thrive.
