How to Avoid Feeling Like a Bad Parent

Feeling guilty as a parent? Get the reassurance you need with our helpful tips and advice so that you can enjoy your summer without worrying about being a bad parent.

How to Avoid Feeling Like a Bad Parent

1. You are wondering if you are a bad parent or just a bad person in general.
   • The number one rule about good parents is they WANT to be good parents. You see, bad parents never wonder if they are doing a good job: bad parents do not wonder if they are bad parents. Got it?
   • So, by virtue of the very essence of the question that nags us on the hardest of days….rest assured – YOU are asking the right question, and what it says about you is magnificent and reassuring (especially on the days that it does not feel like it).
2. Your schedule is a mess from time to time.
   • Look, we all fall off the routine during the chaos of summer. There are fireworks, community pool situations, and distractions of every variety. Some of us just enjoy the echoes of laughter that accompany the cool breezes on the porch as the sun bids us goodnight.
   • Subsequently, bedtime gets later than we intended. So, in the chaotic moments. And know that routines were meant to be RE-ESTABLISHED in time of need.
   • If things are exceptionally wild at home – take those 3-5 days and stick to the MOC routines (Found in our Books,Online Courses, and The MOC Scheduler App 2.0) like your sanity depends on it.
     • Everyone will fall right back into it. Truth be told, we ALL love the predictability of a solid routine. It is just being realistic about when you have the time to get from here to there. So, befriend reality.
     • You have the tools to re-establish routine when reality allows. All is not lost.
3. You are looking forward to the start of school.
   • Yes, normal, healthy parents recognize the need for a break.
   • This does NOT mean that you do not love your children. Welcome, fellow human. Some days, it is all we can do to keep everyone alive.
   • So, if your air conditioner broke, the dog pooped the floor, the cousins you had over yesterday called to say that they have lice, and you are waiting on an important phone call from the doctor….yeah, the school would be really helpful right now.
   • We know that even in the midst of loving households, we all could use a time out. Friends, neighbors, church camp….help a parent out!
     • Use your helpers and let yourself off the hook. Great parents need a break. And at the very least, when you have a sweaty little one asleep in the crook of your arm, and there is peace for just a moment…look down and admire the length of those eyelashes, the cadence of those tiny breaths and know you are doing a wonderful thing even if you need a break here and there.
4. Your kids misbehave for you more than they do for other people.
   • Yes, the one who is with them the most….gets the testing, the trying, and the tantrums…the most.
   • We have great news. They are trying out their behaviors on the one that tells them how the world works. They save it for the one that keeps them safe.
     • So, like it or not, they want YOU to be the one to put on the brakes, set the boundaries, and give them feedback about everything life has to offer.
     • Exhausting…yes. Sign of a bad parent…no. Hop over to the Toddler By Design App and see our tips on how to manage these long days as you grow into a responsible human being.
5. You are not perfect (you hate that fact, but you know it is true).
   • Far be it for any child to be raised by the perfect parent.
     • ‘Imperfect and trying’….that is where we all are in this ever-changing world of humanity. We will knock some decisions out of the park and regret others.
     • Parenting is less about perfection and more about perception. If you have the ability to recognize the things that did not work, did not feel like crowning moments, or did not produce a result you were sure it should have…you are not alone.
     • We are now well aware that we are in good company as we navigate how to raise our kids.
   • As we shared recently on the Moms on Call Podcast, the lessons learned for all involved when we take responsibility for the failures (and there will be some for ALL of us) are paramount to growing kids that know what forgiveness, graciousness, and humility look like on someone they love.
     • So, as Laura always says…’ be grace in the chaos’…well that can mean showing your kids what it looks like to have grace for yourself.
     • Own your missteps, reach out for help when you need it (we are always here to partner with you in encouraging ways), and by all means, hear it from us: even in those moments when you do not feel like it, you are a great parent, and you’ve got this.
     • Side note: It begs for a tee shirt…Imperfect Parents Untie….no…uh...Unite! (This dad joke was brought to you by MOC. Use with discretion)