My Adoption Story
In honor of National Adoption Awareness Month, Kate Aruqilla gives us a peek into her beautiful family and their adoption story.
Written by Kate Arquilla
Every morning on my birthday, my mother comes into my room or calls me.
“32 years ago today, my phone rang, the type with the long curly cord. I was in my little kitchen of our first house and it was a stormy and rainy morning. I answered the phone and the voice on the other end of the line said, “Is it raining where you are?” and my mom, confused, replied, “Yes…?”
The voice replied, “Well, it’s sunny now. You have a baby girl!”
My parents struggled with infertility. Going into the marriage, they knew they may have trouble conceiving. My father was diagnosed with testicular cancer at 17 and knew the chances of having biological children were slim. After a year or so of trying to conceive, they decided to adopt.
Growing up, adoption was always a term that was used in our household. I am sure I used the word to describe myself before I even knew what the true meaning was. My parents ended up adopting four children – myself, my two brothers, and my sister – spread out over 10 years.
I often get the question “Don’t you wonder who your birth parents are? Do you want to meet them?” Well, I look exactly like my mom – and she’s not my biological mother!
To me, I have always felt like I fit in. I don’t “feel” adopted. Sometimes I wonder about my biological parents – what do they look like? Where do I get my eyes (that I have passed on to all three of my children) from? Do my biological parents have poor vision like me? Did they have cancer? Do I have biological siblings? Are they in the medical field?
Maybe, and I may never know! But I do know, as a parent now, that my biological parents did the most selfless one could ever do – place me in the arms of the people who could give me what they couldn’t, to love me so deeply and give me the best chance at life possible. I knew this somewhat growing up, but I never truly understood until I had Finn, my first child. Holding all 10 pounds of him, I felt the deep love my biological parents and my parents have for me. And for that I will be forever grateful.
Kate is a mama of three, NICU RN, certified CPR instructor, breastfeeding counselor + certified sleep consultant – a “mom/parent coach” dedicated to making the road to parenthood a bit smoother.
Kate combines her expertise in these areas + her experience as a breastfeeding + supplementing mom to best prepare new parents for parenthood with a realistic + non-judgemental approach. We are all just doing our best as parents, and we have to look out for ourselves, too!
Kate founded bumble baby, a community for parents to learn from + lean on each other, and laugh a little along the way.